Silence… Isn’t Always a Good Thing!
Oh, How I Love Silence…
When the house is quiet and no one is fighting, or crying, or messing with something.
This is a beautiful time, but can too much silence be bad?
When everyone is so involved in their own little world or not sure what to say or share things can get pretty quiet. The noises you hear may not be communication but fighting or complaining.
This is why daily Discussion with your children is very important. Not only for the child but for the parent. Most parents hate simple “good” responses but how do we change this? How do we get these kids talking? Sharing stories, sharing thoughts. I decided to do a Discussion board. Not only could I discuss topics I wanted to know but I could get the kids talking. I want to know about their day, their life, I want to know some details of their day.
I don’t like missing out or missing an opportunity to help or give my opinion. This could be just the way I was raised. I call my mom every day and explain things that happened that day. My husband doesn’t care for such in-depth details, although I provide them anyways. I am the type of person who enjoys the funny details and hates missing out.
I am a nanny of two kids who have grown up to be tweens.
When I started as their nanny almost three years ago they were 7( 2nd grade, little girl) and 9 (4th grade, boy) now they are 10 and 12! So not only am I raising a toddler but also helping raise two tweens!
First, you must know, I am practically their part-time mom. I go to their sports games, school events help with their homework, teach them life skills, discipline them and also help their parents learn better parenting skills as well.
Don’t get me wrong they have great parents! They care more about their kids a lot, but not everyone knows how to discipline or the right techniques to use. It takes a village, and they are lucky enough to be able to pay someone to be their kid’s part-time mom. We all need help in this thing called parenting. I am so glad to be able to help this family and they are able to help me learn and grow as well.
I could write for days about the struggles we have gone through to get to where we are today. I will probably discuss many of them in length later on. Today, I want to share the discussion boarded I started with the kiddos last week.
Keep Scrolling down for 5 tips for starting a Discussion Board with your child(ren)
Excuse my cheaply made whiteboard that I got a yard sale last summer, but hey! It’s not what matters anyways.
What matters is having conversations with your kids. Keeping an open form of verbal language with your kids will not only help you find out a little of what’s going on in that head of theirs but also helping them communicate outside of #hashtags and lingo.
This week I asked them a silly question. If you had to give every human a quality what would it be and why which one responded with…generosity because it would make the world have less homeless people and less hunger. While the other one said 1.) the ability for everyone to do slam dunks. We all laughed for several minutes about that. You can see where their priorities are!
The second question: If you were invisible where would you go and why? One responded with …do random acts of kindness,.. but then laughed and said his first thought was rob a bank. How awesome is that to know deep down some kids have such hope, passion, and love for everyone. I love it, and I also loved the response of kiddo number two. I would go to Starbucks and steal all the drinks. Yes. A child who holds as much value in Starbucks as I do.
Now, they don’t always have to be silly like this. For example, last week I asked about what their goals for this year were. What they wanted to practice, master and try. The answers were just as much help to me as they were to them. They took their time to think and answer and we all got to discuss our goals.
Here are some tips on how to get a discussion board going at your home or classroom.
5 Tips for Creating Own Discussion Board
1. Look up questions if you are stumped.
These questions can be things you want to know, current events, goals, or silliness. Search: Questions to ask kids about their life
The next discussion topic was based on their job goals. What they wanted to do when they grew up and what they thought they had to do in order to get there. I discussion how someone doesn’t just wake up one day and be an aerospace engineer. Being good at math is important, and going to college is a must. Jake has trouble with math. I was helpful for him to see that paying attention in math class is important. Rather it helps him pay attention in math is a whole other topic.
2. Give the kids some time to think.
Do not let them brush it off as stupid. Let them think but also let them know you will ask again later, so they should think about it. Also, do not be resident to go first! Be truthful. If you want them to open up to you, you must open up to them. Be real.
3. Let them write it down or express verbally.
Let them do whichever is more comfortable to them. One of my kiddos wrote it down then discussed while other is more of a verbal thinker. They can answer the question in a song if that’s what will get them interested in the subject. Drawing a picture is another option. Once they have created or thought of their answer, discuss reasons why they choose that answer.
4. Use this as a tool to take a few minutes and talk.
Some kids will talk your ears off, while others will try to run off to their games, toys, television or even homework.Use this time to open up a conversation about their day. A conversation that goes beyond just “how was your day”. The response back is usually ” good”.
I always ask ” Tell me something funny that happened today”, and also their favorite, not, ” Tell me something you learned today”. I can be about life, a subject or even a friend.
5. Let the kids write their own questions to ask you.
Get them involved and answer what they ask truthfully because you will want the same response in return. I am very truthful with my kiddos. I tell them the truth about anything they ask. Even if it an awkward subject. They know they can ask me, no question will be brushed off. If I don’t know the answer we look it up.
I want to kids to be able to come to me about anything, and since I am not their mom they are able to discuss things they wouldn’t feel comfortable telling their mom. This is my policy always not just during discussion time. We have some great conversations, both serious and fun.
Use chalk, white board printed out bulletin board. Anything that can be displayed.
Try to make is part of your family meals or even car ride! I find the best time to have a great conversation is in the car.
Save for later on Pinterest!
Click here for ideas on topics to talk about!
I want to know… What would be the first question you asked your kiddos?